“Depression sucks. It can go suck my dick. And, why are you throwing water on a drowning person?”
Speaking of that- I’m depressed atm and randomly some guy I knew like 5-6 years ago crossed my mind. I looked him up. Actually remembered his name. +10 for Drem. He didn’t age that great. I think he got hair plugs. He really needed those. He was in his late 20s when I had the unfortunate experience of meeting him and he had the hair line of a 50 year old plumber.
Now I had a nice blog post written about sexual assault/abuse in light of the Trump scandal (not about the hair plug guy!) but I posted a comment on a sexual assault story on a Facebook post by some news organization an hour ago and got viciously attacked by a troll. It made me really shaky. I responded as best I could- stating I won’t share all my details to prove my story just for him because it’s personal information and I was sharing what I felt comfortable with (two brief sentences) as other women were and I said I will refuse to comment further because I do not wish to feed a troll who thinks he is a mind reader and who acts like a know-it-all.
Virtual situations like that make me feel very unsafe in front of my computer screen. Situations like that also remind me I don’t know you and you don’t know me and you may twist and turn my words against me. You may have your own agenda. Plans to take me down or other sick shit like reading this and spreading it to people in my personal life. You may pass your own judgements on me as I jot down ideas past and present on my WordPress- using ArtofDrem as my virtual diary. I often forget this is a public diary. And I don’t trust you reading it.
I don’t trust you.
Why should I be so honest about sensitive, taboo & traumatizing subjects while you do nothing but read there in your chair risking nothing as I risk this leaking out?
I don’t know who you are.
Coincidentally, I stopped writing my book because I don’t want to know what the world thinks of me.
Coincidentally, I had a reader write to me back and forth for quite some time and suddenly his or her story changed A LOT. I realized this person was a fraud. Creepy and I’m glad I wasn’t as specific as I could have been but still wish i didn’t share a few things. I need to be smarter. I am too trusting. Dumb.
Now I have bad anxiety.