CRISIS: Dating Guys Who Are Accustomed To Porn (Women’s Perspective)

 

635869106850425335199561272_tumblr_nbeicp6Ow11s3h43ko1_500

The women are plastic and the lighting is perfect and they look in pain. The men look angry. Sometimes very angry. 88% of porn features violence. But, porn is fake! That’s not how most people have sex! We all know that.

Yet once you get in the bedroom in real life and you realize you are not that plastic woman who the man in front of you jerks off to 10x a day (and think he’s not watching porn? 70% of men do it), hopefully to the nonviolent stuff, self-esteem can easily go to shit. Especially if you’re with a man who doesn’t know what average women look like. Average as in- women who live on Earth and are affected by GRAVITY. Average as in- not photoshopped (cellulite is not determined by weight). Average as in- women who don’t like to be pounded nonstop like a jackhammer the ENTIRE TIME.

Every 20-something female I’ve talked to have had the following feelings during intimate moments at at least one point or another. And I can’t help but think that’s why many beautiful, natural women turn to unnecessary elective plastic surgeries to “correct” parts of themselves that are actually common and quite fine.

Nearly 16 million plastic surgery procedures were performed in 2015. alone

Of which, 92% were done on women.

Even a breast augmentation can kill you. The anesthesia or rejection or infection. But, who cares?- says the millions and millions. We aren’t plastic enough.

None of my friends are happy with their breasts in particular- no matter the size, shape or what have you. And they’ve all considered elective surgery. Just tonight one of my dear friends was talking about going for Botox. She’s 25. I wanted the same thing and was denied by my dermatologist- though most of the time, financial restraints are what stopped us from putting ourselves at risk for aesthetic reasons.

Tonight I had a bit of a, I don’t know what to call it really. A pathetic crying moment over my chest, I suppose. Quite pathetic and self-pitying.  I’ve  just never, ever liked them. I always wanted them gone. Grandma bought me minimizers at 10 years old. I had a C cup by 12. A D cup by freshman year of high school. My mother was flat chested and so was the rest of the women in my family, so I had no one to relate to. I felt very ashamed of my body, and remember every remark a girl made about them. And now I’m sitting here with an F/G cup size that’s affected by the dreadful GRAVITY that all those beautiful porn stars don’t have because theirs are stuffed with silicon and shit.

Beautiful silicon and shit.

Mine flop around and can hit someone hard in the face. They are good weapons. And I need to adjust them constantly. They pop out and do what they want to spite me in awkward situations. And, worst of all, even though the shape is fine they aren’t these perky things and they never, ever were. They’re squishy like a jellyfish which I think is pretty gross, too.

I immediately started looking up breast lifts and areola reductions and nipple relocations. And prices. Prices, oh God. More tears came.

I can not afford the plastic to boost my self confidence that’s been affected by the porn industry. So the bra stays on. In the bra they are quite lovely. And no me on top positions, because God forbid my stretch marks are scene (even though 70% of women have them). And I prefer the lights off or at least dim and to be covered up immediately after.

To be clear,

I understand that everyone has insecurities.

But, as I’ve said, more and more women are turning to elective plastic surgeries every year. I will add it’s their right to. If it makes someone feel better about themselves (which I think would happen to me) then why not do it? The issue is-

we are risking death for aesthetics.

Even though I want this surgery and am going to call a surgeon on Monday to get an appointment to see what mine would cost to fix, as well as cellulite smoothing, laser hair removal (who doesn’t want to look like a prepubescent girl?), and liposuction to everywhere, I know it’s wrong. I know it’s dangerous, and I have bad luck. I know I’m doing it to attain unnatural perfection, for even the most beautiful women in the world are photoshopped to appear even more beautiful.

What is fake is now considered beautiful.

And that reality is perpetuated further by Instagram filters, beauty blogs, and the Kardashian/Jenner clan with the rest of every aspect of media/celebrity/idols and icons.

auto-plastic-surgery-demotivation-199213

It’s just the way it is. Like it or not. Sure, women who feel the pressures of porn can find a man who understands the difference between real life and movies. And men like that do exist. Absolutely they do! And I’ve known quite a few. The insecurities that continue to bombard some women via media and unrealistic porn “intimacy” linger on, nonetheless.

 

xoxo

Drem

 


Do you think the increase in plastic surgery is due to body dysmorphia, instead? You can read my post on BD here.

PS Sorry for grammar. 5:30AM and have not slept.

 


3 thoughts on “CRISIS: Dating Guys Who Are Accustomed To Porn (Women’s Perspective)

  1. I totally agree with you on this. I think our society has placed expectations (I’m not calling them “standards” on purpose) in place that are not realistic at all, and not meeting expectations has one result and one result only – major disappointment. We need to be at a place of acceptance on so many levels.

    Liked by 1 person

Share Your Thoughts

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s