It’s Not Him- It’s The Idea I Miss, a poem by Drem

Some scribbles from just now. Quite sad at the moment. Quite sad.

Don’t judge me based on this work.

I’m telling you now I have not slept.

 


 

It’s Not Him- It’s The Idea I Miss,  a poem by Drem

March 19, 2016

 

“He comes into my life

and leaves after the shoes he wears

have left footprints in mud,

a trail all over my heart.

He leaves.

And I go on.

Leaving my life in a taxi cab,

now years later.

New life. New name. New face.

I change everything

because I hate who I was with him.

Getting high and getting tattoos.

Keeping busy writing in bed by myself.

But I rather be alone than be lonely

with someone whose empty

beside me.

Who’s a shell of a man.

He’s a shell of a man.

Was a shell of a man.

I don’t know who he actually is any more.

Haven’t seen him in years.

He’s not who I thought he was.

But I keep looking back.

I keep dreaming he comes back.

Whoever he is.

I keep wanting him to hold my hand.

But he won’t.

We all know he won’t.

And I hate that I want him to.

I’m a woman and I’m weak.

I just miss the dreams that were alive with him.

I miss the dreams of what we could have been.

I miss the idea of being loved.

I miss the idea of love.

The idea of him.

Not him. Not actually him.

He doesn’t matter.

I’m addicted to the idea of reciprocal affection

with a past that wasn’t meant to turn to fruition.

Does that make any sense?

I haven’t slept

and it’s 8 in the morning.

I hate being alone…

and I was stupid and wrote him a letter.

Makes it all worse.

Because I know he read it.

And he didn’t write back.”

(c) Drem 2016

http://www.ArtOfDrem.com


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