I’ve been listening to The Struts like nonstop since I saw a repeat episode of them playing on some late night talkshow the other night. I actually purchased their EP. I love them. They remind me of the best of MCR and when MCR was trying to be Queen. When MCR was trying to get that stadium sound but failed because let’s face it, though Gerard Way is beautiful and I love him with all my heart, he doesn’t have the voice. That’s not to say I don’t love Gerard Way’s voice. I do. It just didn’t cut the mustard. And The Black Parade got really cliched. It’s funny that The Struts are from the UK and Gerard’s solo project is a brit pop production (which is fail). Anyway, the EP is my xo and it doesn’t hurt that I feel like I can relive my childhood again. Even though my childhood sucked. The music was amazing. And it reminds me of all the shows I used to go to. I used to go for free because I was a reporter/photographer (legit). Tickets, backstage, afterparties. I was an awfully cool person. I’m not cool anymore. Over New Years my friend suggested I get back into it. It’s been awhile. If I left the house and didn’t live with depression, that might be an option.
I will pay to go see them. It’s only $20. And, they supposedly put on one fuck of a show. And see that lead singer? That’s my type. /swoon
EYELINER! Boys in eyeliner… /faint
So, anyway, I woke up today at 1AM. My sleeping has been completely off. It hurt so much. So, so much.
My mom walked in. She asked what was going on. I said, “I’m in pain”. She asked where. I said, “my bloodstream”. She didn’t get it.
The chemicals are fucked up. I still ache from it. My stomach, my chest, my arms, my shoulders. All my veins. I feel them vibrate. And cry.
I can’t fall back to sleep. I put on my music. I take my meds. I text some of my people. And that’s it.
Another day of getting fucked up and doing nothing too extraordinary.
Oh I’m getting my tattoo filled in on Friday and a consult for my next one- my Firefly one (from the TV show). That is something I actually look forward to. Maybe one of my non-shithead cousins will come with me. Otherwise I shall go at it alone. I can’t get my SG one till I get a lot of money. That will be very expensive because it’s going all down my spine. Earth’s gate address ❤