Chronic Pain Woke Me Up, by Drem (blog post)

Sleep deprived, fearful, in pain, taking pills to live and tired.
That’s sleep deprived in pain Drem.

Is it selfish of me to write about nothing? To use this as a journal?

I have no one to talk to.

I just want to know someone is there.

It’s 5AM.

Pain woke me up.

I don’t like pain.

I don’t like MS.

I don’t like the idea of holes in my brain.

Of brain degeneration.

Of my trajectory.

I don’t like my autoimmune diseases.

I don’t like pills.

I took something.

It didn’t help.

Made my stomach hurt.

Made me fake happy.

I just want to know I’m not alone.

The fake happy turns back into sadness.

Seeing pictures and re-reading my work didn’t help.

I realize my blog posts are becoming a lot less interesting.

I’m too tired to make paragraphs.

I just want to know I’m not alone.

I’m afraid to go back on chemo.

I was supposed to go in November.

Now it’s December.

Still nothing planned.

I don’t pick up the phone.

I have enough to deal with.

I’m rambling about nothing again.


24 thoughts on “Chronic Pain Woke Me Up, by Drem (blog post)

  1. There is a whole lot that is NOT ‘Nothing’ in the above. You are not alone in the world (though it may seem so) your words are a link to others and a lot of us write happy / feel sad. Sharing words with others is a help. Somewhere at your 5am it is somebody else’s 3pm, 7pm, and so on. Across the world a writer / blogger / reader reading can see your words and your words are important. Take care. G:)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you sir. You are right. I just often focus my blog on a topic. Tonight I posted something personal, and again something personal. Just a bunch of rambling. Thank you for being here for me when I feel very much alone. Living in chronic pain makes one feel very isolated in their own body.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Do you by any chance now how to make it so the “Excerpt” shows the actual excerpt and not my whole post in the stream? Occasionally this happens and when I look at the HTML it’s the exact same so I don’t get it. I tried the Read More option. That didn’t work. I do have an Excerpt written. It only works on my page but not in the stream. Like I said, all the HTML is identical. I’m confused.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I don’t, I just use the ‘Post the whole thing as it is’ option. I know that the ‘read more’ seems to be used by a few, but I am usually posting on my iPhone in a very basic manner. It may be better to ask someone who does this like Prospermind or Erika kind. They may be more helpful. good luck. G:)

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      3. In the ‘more options’ area on my site I found an area where an ‘excerpt’ may be put. I have not tried it; but, it is there. All our pages look so different, think that a few WP features have changed recently. Pictures are different in their formatting. G:)

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      4. I know. I always use that. It’s not working on the Reader but it shows up correctly on my front page. I asked about it in the forums. Hopefully someone gets back to me.

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    1. Hi Amra. Thank you. Before I got to read your work, I shamefully didn’t even know where Sri Lanka was. I feel very blessed to have met someone through words from a place I’ve never been to who is as smart and creative as yourself.

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  2. Hey Drem, don’t feel that way.You are a really inspiring writer and person. I have problems sleeping too. Sometimes I go two days. I take something that they gave me to sleep, but it doesn’t work anymore and I don’t want to increase the shit. Now I am hooked on it and will be for a long time. I don’t know what tot do to fall asleep. I don’t have any physical pain like you do, but bad depression and a really bad relationship, that only makes my situation worse. Most of the times, I don’t feel like getting out of bed, even though I am nott sleeping for the most part.

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      1. Hug back, I have to go out tomorrow to see my case manager. I have a case manager, therapist and psychiatrist.I would prefer not to go anywhere, but it is important that I follow up on my appointments, I need to get help for my problems. Not just my anxiety and depression. I have a lot going on right now, so it is really hard to deal with it all.I have to force myself to do anything, but I have to do it, because no one is going to take care of me, but me,

        Liked by 1 person

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