Invisible Girl, a poem by Drem

Not sure if I like this one or not. But, I’m putting it up. It’s from a really bad week. And I’m kind of in the same place now, in my head. So, it feels right.

Also, my cat just said his first full “meow”. Up till now, he would just go “ee”. Yay, my baby cat!

And this is late because I’m too busy singing along to Train. They’re on TV playing their album on a local station.

 

 

 


 

Invisible, a poem by Drem

May 29, 2015

“At night

I’m alone.

I don’t cry.

But I miss

being seen

by people,

even the people in my dreams.

Those figments are blind

to my body

in my own mind.

º

Losing a friend

and then another,

one after the other,

is hard.

The latter was harder.

I thought he really saw me.

He didn’t.

He just looked

from afar

when he sat next to me

and when he kissed

my cheek

he was thinking of someone else

in another place.

Later,

when he closed his eyes

I was easily thrown

away

and forgotten.

Not even a memory left.

Not imprinted.

I temporarily existed

for him

in empty space.

º

So now,

after weeks

and weeks

of this loneliness

and these pills

I must take

to exist

that make me sick,

it makes me all question

if I made the right decision

in leaving that first relationship

way back when

in the first place.

The one where I was a victim

of a strong man

who pretended to be weak on the outside.

To a strong man

who never saw me,

and who hurt me on the inside.

But sometimes

in his own sick way

he would pretend to care

about my place

in the world

to manipulate

me.

It’s pathetic

to want to go back

to someone who hurts you so.

I know this.

I don’t.

I remind myself, “NO.”

º

But at night

I’m alone.

I don’t cry.

Though I miss being something

to someone.

Anything.

Even a thing.

º

Being out in this world

is too hard.

It’s too hard

to whether

so alone.

This deadly loneliness

and these pills

I must take

to exist,

that make me sick,

are now my only steady

reliable

relationship.

I can’t keep this up.

I can’t keep doing this.

Even the people

in my dreams

refuse to acknowledge

I’m a being,

I’m a person-

more so than them.

Nothing, to no one.

Not even to that ghost.

º

What sin have I committed

to have to live life

as an

invisible girl?


12 thoughts on “Invisible Girl, a poem by Drem

  1. This poem is beautiful. I think it’s one of your most well written yet.

    It moves the emotions and it even reminds me of my first relationship because when that ended I had the exact same thoughts about it and even when she wants to start talking to me again I needed to remind myself why I left her to begin with.

    And you’re someone to me

    Signed,

    Paper and pen

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am my words. If you have read them, you have met me. There is no digging needed. I experience it all and then the tears I cry are the ink that make the words on the page.

      As always, you write the most genuine compliments about my work. I don’t feel worthy of such a review.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You give me much confidence. And, same to you!

        Question to the famous blogger Mr Tony- How often do I need to post? I am posting 3x a day and it’s really exhausting and as of now I actually have like less than half of what I usually get. Sometimes I hit 100 views in an hour. Now I’m at 30 views and it’s been hours. It’s going really slow.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. This is a very good question, Drem, and one that I wish I had an answer for. I post to my art and photo blogs about once every few weeks or so, and they don’t get much traffic at all. I post to Unbolt at least once a week and that gets tons of traffic. I post to my webcomic blog once every month or so and I seem to get a fair amount of views and likes, but even that fluctuates from one installment to the next. Between the four of these, I have no idea why one thing’s working and the other isn’t. There must be some rhyme or reason to all of this, but buggered if I can see it!

        (That was a totally useless response, wasn’t it?) 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I think about the only thing I can suggest is to make sure you post regularly, and that you keep doing it without fail. This seems to be the only thing that has worked for me so far. Keeping a consistent online presence isn’t easy but is certainly recommended. 🙂

        (I have flailed my arms on many an occasion too. It’s a great stress reliever! Sometimes.) 😛

        Liked by 1 person

      4. So, 3 poems a day?
        I think i’m going to post some of my photography here as a break. Even my published ones from the past. I just need to find time to watermark them. I’m too busy posting 3 poems a day.
        I was a music photographer for three years so I can dig those up. That was a fun job. Then I did nature for a travel magazine. That was very relaxing. I got to travel a tiny bit too.

        Like

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