Shadow of a Ghost, lyrical poem by Drem

My best friend worked at a rock radio station in NYC for a few years way back when. Gosh, it feels like forever ago, but I suppose forever ago feels so long ago because I’m still technically young. Anyway, even though our sub-genre rock tastes differ, I do appreciate her opinion in music and she said this poem sounds like it could be a song. I was very flattered, and after re-reading I agree with her. Or, I agree on at least the theme. There’s a few lines that might work too. I haven’t written many intentional lyrical work in a long time. Funny that one I did was awarded a few years ago. I can upload that one if I remember. Maybe I should try to go at it again…

 

The last section is my favorite so please let me know what you think! I appreciate the “like” but letting me know someone actually read it means a lot more to me. Any feedback is much appreciated.

 

Shadow of a Ghost, a lyrical poem by Drem

July 2nd, 2015

“I keep trying to get back the

fleeting image

of the shadow

of a ghost

I thought I knew.

Nothing is there.

I don’t think there ever was

anything there

and that is

what hurts the most

during nights like this

when I can’t sleep

and when I know that if I do sleep

the suffering

of this reality of mine

will be at last relieved,

but not for long.

I’ll dream of that untouchable

faint

shadow.

It doesn’t bring me

to tears,

these thoughts don’t

bring me to tears.

But, they do bring down

my own

spirits.

And any progress

I made

flies away

in the wind

and twists its way

through the

raindrops

till it’s far away

enough

that I can’t see my own goals

and own accomplishments

anymore.

I get

set back

to the start.

All this, all from the memories

that come back to me

of one shadow

of a ghost

I thought I knew.

I fell so hard…

through nothing at all.”


19 thoughts on “Shadow of a Ghost, lyrical poem by Drem

  1. Great opening and I love how you repeat it at the end in a reworded way. My favorite line is “I’ll dream of that untouchable

    faint

    shadow.” That’s when i feel; the poem kicks into full gear. Once again, great job.

    Like

    1. (: Thank you! Do you think it’s lyrical like my friend said? I think you know who I’m talking about. AKA ActivityGrl. I don’t think you know her pen name now that I’m thinking about it.

      Like

    1. Thank you so much for reading. The “ghost” is based on a real person, too. Your thoughts are much appreciated. Thank you, once again, for listening.

      -Drem

      Like

  2. Lyrical for me means that it has a rhythm …and if it was me I would take some of the great ideas and chisel away until it had a bit more rhythm. Some poems songs come easy but others need rewriting many times. I residue poems/ songs a few times. Personally I like to accentuate rhythm with rhyme but it can constrain the flow sometimes…If you like, have a look at my blog…I have turned many poems into songs and get are on there too…but they have a very narrow niche…probably just me..:-)

    Like

    1. The way I read it, it has rhythm and flow. I stopped uploading videos but maybe I can for this one to prove the point. I read it very aggressively. More of a rap. And I have a heavy NY accent. So, that I’m sure makes a difference.
      Thank you for reading (:

      Like

  3. I keep trying to get back 
a fleeting image…
the shadow of a ghost
    I thought I knew…
But nothing’s there.
and that’s what hurts the most

    During nights like this
 when I can’t sleep, 
I suffer in this reality of mine
    I know that if I do sleep
 the suffering will be relieved,
but not for a long time

    And then I’ll dream 
of that untouchable faint shadow.
    
And then I’ll dream 
of that untouchable faint shadow.

    But it doesn’t bring me to tears,

    These thoughts don’t bring me to tears.

    But, they do me bring down

    Yes they do bring me down

    Then any progress I made is unpinned

    And it twists its way through the 
raindrops and the wind
    
Till it’s far away
, So I can’t see my goals
    
I can’t see my accomplishments 
anymore.

    And it tears me apart

    Cause I get 
set back to the start.

    And all this, all memories 
that hint at something lost
    
Of one shadow, 
a fleeting image…
of a ghost

    I thought I knew …But it’s a wakeup call

    Because I fell so hard…
through nothing at all.”

    Like

      1. It’s okay. Thank you for sharing it. I’ll post how I read it (: Next time, just out of curtesy from one artist to another whose work is copyrighted, just drop me a notice ^-^ I also have my email up on my About Me section.

        Like

    1. Dude, You can’t just re-write a poem like that with out permission. Granted, you might have been trying to help but you still shouldn’t do that. We have our definition of what rhythm is. I think rhythm is how it flows but, that’s just me. Plus, the poet writes what he/she means the first time around based on what their idea of lyrical is what form is.

      Not trying to put you down but please understand where I cam coming from as I understand where it is you are.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Let’s be clear, this “re-write” is only on her blog, based on a poem that is plainly hers (the comments relate to it), purely to better indicate some points that I was trying to make to help regarding that poem. (If I was using this “re-write” elsewhere and claiming it was mine then that would be a completely different story.) It is her blog and therefore of course I completely respect her rules and apologise for breaking them. I thought I was doing something to help answering her requests for comments and not just likes. I felt it helped cut to the chase of what I was trying to say about rhythm. Of course it is my personal view and may well be considered total crap but that’s a different discussion. It was genuinely an intention to reach out, communicate better and help. It is not something that I have done before. I get it. I respect her view and have moved on…and I now consider the matter closed.

        Like

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